More will be revealed.

Close to three years and my "Notes" or blog has only seen 23 reads. Thanks family. My 4 month old view YouTube post with only 5 views didn't surprise me. Anonymity of artisans was one of the attractions I found in early Christian iconography. The modern internet has given me an equal gift. It must be safe to use this as a secret journal.

Ego might be the biggest hurtle for artisans. We work in a egoless state of flow, then seek credit for what "I made". It's complicated. "Why" even bother? Is it greedy to expect the serotonin hit of the creative process and the dopamine hit of social "likes"? Then there is the ever present need for financial reward. It seem the money one is the only real drag. It is the one that twists us all up.

I need food, shelter and water. Water falls from the sky. Shelter is as simple as a card board bow and a blanket. Ninety nine cents could buy enough rice to feed me for a day. Every thing else is just the monkey dominance game.

So why the struggle? Why do what we do? Not just us artist, but all of us. I ask you who could be a bigger idiot than a billionaire? How many relationships are compromised by the dog eat dog world of business. What is stupider than measuring your art by your bankbook? Why ruin a perfectly good world to increase GDP?

Sometimes art is an experiment. The last three years I have attempted to use my art as a channel to communicate with the world as a whole, but without the promotion of self. It is very idealistic and impractical. Just a silly idea that art should be judged separate from the creator. My work is signed on the back. Not to hide who I am, but to keep from distracting from the image. It is a horrible business model.

Despite being represented by a gallery with world class artist I have no social or financial incentive for pursuing art. No sales, little recognition, just personal growth and a surprising source of pain relief. I did an anti war piece recently and desperately wanted to be able to paint an image that would prevent one child from not being killed by a drone. We pretend art is sacred, but no, not if we ignore it to keep killing for peace.